As told by Uncle Ned, who still thinks paprika is a conspiracy.
In the spring of last year, I found myself visiting my niece Claire in her chic little urban loft—the kind of place where houseplants have names and the smoke alarm is mostly used as a cooking timer.
Now, Claire is many things: an ambitious graphic designer, a passionate thrift shopper, and a self-declared “food adventurer,” which is a polite way of saying she once tried to cook rice in a Keurig. Her culinary track record was so spotty, the microwave had a PTSD.
So imagine my horror when Claire burst through the door one evening waving a package of salmon and shouting, “Uncle Ned! Tonight, we dine like people with gym memberships!”
I began searching for the fire extinguisher.
“No worries,” she said. “I found this recipe online. It’s healthy. It’s balanced. It’s—wait for it—Mediterranean!”
Now, I’ve lived long enough to know that “Mediterranean” in this context means “we have no butter and are emotionally coping with it.”
But Claire was determined. She zested a lemon with what I believe was a cheese grater. She crushed garlic with a mason jar labeled “dreams.” She arranged zucchini, cherry tomatoes, and broccoli like she was decorating a salad-themed Christmas card. Then, she seasoned everything using her favorite technique: asking Google for help and ignoring it.
Miraculously, twenty minutes later, the salmon emerged from the oven golden, glistening, and—against all odds—edible.
We took a bite. We blinked. “This is… actually really good,” I said, eyeing her suspiciously.
Claire looked alarmed. “It tastes like something made by a functioning adult. Do you think this means I’m… finally getting the hang of cooking?”
I nodded slowly. “Maybe. Or maybe the salmon just decided to cook itself out of pity.”
She paused. “Should we try it again tomorrow?”
“Absolutely not,” I said. “We should quit while we’re ahead. Sane people who survive a shark attack don’t jump back into the water.”
Baked Lemon Garlic Salmon with Veggies
Servings: 2
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Ingredients:
- 2 salmon fillets (about 5–6 oz each)
- 1 lemon (zested and juiced)
- 2 garlic cloves (minced)
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 tsp Dijon mustard (optional for extra flavor)
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 1 tsp dried oregano or Italian seasoning
- 1 cup broccoli florets
- 1 cup cherry tomatoes
- 1 small zucchini, sliced
- Fresh parsley for garnish (optional)
Instructions:
Garnish and serve: Sprinkle with fresh parsley and serve with a side of quinoa or brown rice if desired.
Preheat oven to 400°F (200°C).
Make marinade: In a small bowl, mix lemon juice, zest, garlic, olive oil, mustard, salt, pepper, and oregano.
Prepare salmon: Place salmon fillets on a baking tray lined with parchment paper or foil. Spoon marinade over the salmon.
Add veggies: Arrange broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and zucchini around the salmon. Drizzle with a little olive oil and season with salt and pepper.
Bake: Cook in the oven for 15–20 minutes, or until the salmon is flaky and cooked through and veggies are tender.
